I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
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