dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
