do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
