I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
