i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I won't apologize to a one balled man
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
