hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
