the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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