Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
