4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
