How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
