Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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