It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Of course I have a pirate flag
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
