If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
