That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
there's paper in my vomit.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There r osticjed everywhere
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
