I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
