cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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