True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
