I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
