just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
