I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
