Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
