we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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