with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
high people should be assigned attendants
Four minutes until I can fart!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
