I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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