so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
