Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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