So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
