I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
