DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
