oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
