final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I look better un-naked...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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