he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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