I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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