I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
