so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
