We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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