i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
