why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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