Are we in a gay sports bar?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
