she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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