I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
