you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
