Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
