No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
