I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I could fuck to npr.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
