i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
