you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
