Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Also, beer. Big fan.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
