that's an acceptable place to lick
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
