I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i dont even know how to be here
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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