he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
