I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
