oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
