Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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