I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
