As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
