We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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