Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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