i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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