I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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