Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
