I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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