Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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