I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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